US Racing - Live on ATR
Straight Out Of Incompetent
"I'm a pop a cap in somebody's ass tonight, yeah. I'll teach you to dump me. You better recoqnise mother%&*@£s. Suck on this...." *Bang* *Smash* "Aw man, now I'm gonna lose my no claims bonus, fo' rizzle." This is how we're imagining things went inside the automobile of Andrew J. Burwitz of Appleton, Wisconsin, when he performed a drive-by-shooting on his ex-girlfriend's house and didn't think to wind the window down before opening fire. Nobody was hurt, unsurpisingly, and a quick check of the local auto glass repair shops revealed Andrew, already a suspect, had his window replaced shortly after the incident. He even filled in the insurance form. Which isn't very gangster, is it? Will you remember the basics with tonight's US Racing live on ATR?
Money-Back Special
Money Back On All Losers!!
Paddy Power Gold Cup
Sat 2.35 Cheltenham C4/RUK
Money-Back Special
If a Paul Nicholls trained horse wins this race, we will refund your losing single stake.
Conditions
The Paddy Power Gold Cup at Cheltenham is just around the corner and you could be there, not only in person, but as a Very Important Person. For your chance to win, have a go at our competition.
NFL Betting
Just For Kicks!!
Life as a NFL kicker is a bit like an F1 driver; you don't have to do much to be a success. Eh, Jenson? While we could blame Jeff Reed's boring, but lucrative profession with the Pittsburgh Steelers for his recent foray with John Law, there was a much more simple explanation, he was drunk. Steelers tight-end [stop laughing, that's a position in American football] Matt Spaeth was approached by police after he was caught taking a whiz up against Reed's parked SUV. Reed jumped out to defend Spaeth's right to have a leak in public with cops reporting he "curled his fists" at them. He was charged with assault, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct and public intoxication. He will play a wee part in their game with the Broncos, but will the Steelers win? Tues. 1.35am
Copa Del Rey Betting
A Job Too Far
If we are to believe Brazilian superstar Kaka – and we shouldn't because the quote was brought to us via the Real Madrid official website and therefore probably made up (well, they do pay his wages) – there is more than a place in the next round of the Copa Del Rey at stake when they face Alcorcon at the Bernabeu. "For pride and for the history of Real Madrid, we have to win this tie," the £55 million pound man said forgetting to mention Manuel Pellegrini's job in that 'statement', before adding the twelfth man could be key, "The players and the fans have to stand together." Los Blancos need to overturn a 4 goal deficit from the first leg to progress, but have they got a Real chance of doing that? Tues 7pm – Copa Del Rey Matches
Leeds v Grimsby
Another Early Bath?
Playing so poorly that Steve Staunton could be tempted from his plum roll at Darlington, Grimsby Town suffered the ignominious pleasure of being outplayed by semi-pro side Bath and exited the FA Cup at their lower league hands. Or feet, as the case should be. Having sacked Mike Newell due an "irretrievable breakdown", in that he was irretrievably crap, the Mariners are now as managerless as they are hopeless and are in very real danger of having nothing better to look forward to all season than a long hard slog against relegation. Another opportunity for relief comes in the shape of the Johnstone's Paint Trophy but, cruelly, they're away to League One leaders Leeds. A win would be a massive boost, and shock, but defeat and things begin to look very Grim' indeed. Tues 7.45pm SS1
South Africa v Zimbabwe
Tat'll Have To Do
After starting their innings with the type of early collapse England would be proud of, Zimbabwe managed to save face in the first of their One Day Internationals with South Africa thanks to the unlikely source of their wicket-keeper Tatenda Taibu. His unbeaten 103, part of a 168 sixth-wicket stand with Stuart Matsikenyeri, was enough to make the final score-line look respectable and after being bowled out for just 44 by Bangladesh a few days earlier, it was practically a win. Except of course it wasn't and the Proteas never looked like losing. Much like the second ODI. Another ton from Taibu isn't too likely either, seeing as that was just his second in over 100 one day matches, but can someone come up with some-Zim special to make a game of it in the 2nd ODI? Tues 12.30pm SS2
Hong Kong Open
Happy As Lahi'
For one we're not going to open with something about Rory McIlroy, so we don't have to dredge up one of our over-used, pun-based headlines with "Ror'" in it. Instead we turn the spotlight on little known Indian golfer Anirban Lahiri, who earned himself a place in the Hong Kong Open thanks to winning his second professional title. "Finishing second in BILT Open behind Jyoti and tying with Jeev, gave me a lot of confidence. But it was after the win in Panchkula that got the monkey off my back," explained the delighted Lahiri. He probably should have used a proper caddy from the start. Whilst he's just happy to be there, others are scrambling for position in the Race for Dubai. After closing the gap on Westwood with his 4th in the HSBC Champions, can McIlroy Ror into the lead? Ah crap...
The X Factor Betting
Some Cheek!!
Taking time out from their busy schedules humping Lembit Öpik, being bankrupt and trying to sell make-up, the Cheeky Girls have weighed in on the international debate about the X Factor's terrible twins John and Edward Grimes – or, as they have been dubbed, Jedward. Rather than stand in solidarity with their crappy double act brethren, they've claimed - in the most blatant case of the kettle calling the pot black - the pair "can't sing". "They'll never have a career like ours. Without all the dancers around them, John And Edward would not be so attractive. There is a lot of smoke and mirrors," Monica said, describing their own act just without the attractive bit. Turn the other cheek and back the twins to win? X Factor Odds
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